Still Catching Up
I was really hoping to have another full week off, but alas, the Jackson area resumes school again tomorrow. I can't wait for all the new kids that we'll see from New Orleans on Monday, and I mean that both sardonically and in truth. On the one hand, look how cool I am helping out in a time of crisis. On the other hand, I'll never get my gradebook settled, and how the hell am I supposed to go to school next week and say, "Hey kids, the rest of us are in the middle of Chapter 2, so why don't you go ahead and catch up even though you just lost your whole lives?" A trivial complaint to be sure, but still, I'm not really ready to go back yet. Too much vacation time has spoiled me.
Not that it's all been vacation time. I've had a lot of much needed time to work on my apartment and I'm caught up with grading at any rate. And here comes the soap box moment. I feel like I've hit a brick wall teaching already. Maybe it's just a warped perception of myself, maybe I'm just not trying hard enough, maybe it's a warped perception of my students, but it's difficult to go back knowing that I'll be in the same old routine day in and day out. I do vary my lessons accordingly and often, but from my end it just seems like the same old stuff all the time. I guess that's what teaching is, a different view from behind the desk this time around. I just desperately wish my students would show the passion I do for learning and my subject matter, and the truth is, most of them do. I'm a naturally enthusiastic person about my job and what I teach which is definitely nothing short of a blessing, but I wish I could see more fruition from my students right now. Oh, and please let me have some ketchup for my fries, Mr. "I'm an American and deserve instant gratification" Jones. Point is, I have a few kids that really bother me and a few that I really like, with about 95% of the rest are somewhere in between, and it's getting to the point where I need to articifically keep my will power and confidence inflated to win over all those kids in the middle.
Hopefully as life evens out, my attitude towards teaching and my quality of writing and my natural enthusiasm for... everything... will drastically improve out from this temporary funk, but until next time, I'll just be down here trudging along with it all.
Not that it's all been vacation time. I've had a lot of much needed time to work on my apartment and I'm caught up with grading at any rate. And here comes the soap box moment. I feel like I've hit a brick wall teaching already. Maybe it's just a warped perception of myself, maybe I'm just not trying hard enough, maybe it's a warped perception of my students, but it's difficult to go back knowing that I'll be in the same old routine day in and day out. I do vary my lessons accordingly and often, but from my end it just seems like the same old stuff all the time. I guess that's what teaching is, a different view from behind the desk this time around. I just desperately wish my students would show the passion I do for learning and my subject matter, and the truth is, most of them do. I'm a naturally enthusiastic person about my job and what I teach which is definitely nothing short of a blessing, but I wish I could see more fruition from my students right now. Oh, and please let me have some ketchup for my fries, Mr. "I'm an American and deserve instant gratification" Jones. Point is, I have a few kids that really bother me and a few that I really like, with about 95% of the rest are somewhere in between, and it's getting to the point where I need to articifically keep my will power and confidence inflated to win over all those kids in the middle.
Hopefully as life evens out, my attitude towards teaching and my quality of writing and my natural enthusiasm for... everything... will drastically improve out from this temporary funk, but until next time, I'll just be down here trudging along with it all.
posted by David Jones | 21:01
2 Comments:
In the immortal words of Celie from the Color Purple: "Sometimes it be that way."
You’re about what, four weeks into your teaching career. As I've said many times one of the difficulties for MTC is that our teachers are high achieving people, successful at everything they do. Well, teaching is not something that you can be successful at right away. Don't be too tough on yourself. You'll still in your first month teaching. It will get better. You will get better. It might get worse before it gets better, but it does get better. You get better. There is a breakthrough. I know it's tough to take my word for it, but take my word for it. Have I lied to you yet? Better yet ask the 350 MTC teachers before you. Almost all of them struggled at first.
You need to find ways to foster an enthusiasm for the subject matter. Most students will not automatically be enthusistic. What made you excited about the subject when you were first introduced?
Hang in there. It will get better with time.
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